The Preacher’s Wife
(by Steve Higginbotham)
Through the years, many students have arrived at preaching school whose wives have been
a bit concerned about whether they could meet the expectations of being a “Preacher’s Wife.”
Since I’ve been pretty close to a “preacher’s wife” for the past 40 years, I thought I would risk
presumption and weigh in on this issue.
So here are my thoughts. The role of a “preacher’s wife” is (drum roll, please) the very same
as a “plumber’s wife,” a “doctor’s wife,” a merchant’s wife,” or any other wife. What I’m trying
to say is that she is no different than any other woman. Her role is to be a faithful Christian wife.
To expect more is extra-biblical.
Extra-biblical? Yes, extra-biblical. Consider how many times in a preacher’s life he has
had to explain to well-intended but misguided people that he is not a “pastor.” What would we
think of a preacher who embraced the role of a “pastor,” because, after all, those are the
expectations of the people? We wouldn’t tolerate it. We’d remind him of his proper role, wouldn’t
we? We’d teach people the difference between a “preacher” and a “pastor.” But what we wouldn’t
do is say, “Oh well, that’s what people have come to expect, so we need to just roll with it.”
So, here’s my question, “Why shouldn’t the same rules apply when it comes to the “role” of
a “preacher’s wife?” Where does the Bible outline such a role? What are the qualifications placed
upon her from Scripture? Where does the Bible say she is to be a leader, a Bible class teacher, a
Ladies’ Day speaker, a model hostess, or an event planner? These expectations should no more
be placed on her than any other Christian wife. We must not be guilty of creating an extra-biblical
role with a set of self-imposed rules and lay them on the shoulders of Christian women who happen
to be married to men who are preachers. In fact, rather than perpetuating these extra-biblical
expectations, we should be trying to correct them.
Friends, the role of a preacher’s wife is to be a faithful Christian wife; period. She should
be involved in the work of the church to the extent that her time and talents allow her, just like any
other Christian wife. Because she is married to a preacher, she will face many unique challenges,
but let’s not be guilty of adding additional expectations upon her, for if we do, we may be
inadvertently keeping some good men from preaching because they have fearful wives, who don’t
know if they can live up to extra-biblical expectations placed upon them.
—The above article submitted by Jonathan Bennett
The Preacher’s Wife
(by Mike Mazzalongo)
She is not appointed but expected to serve, rarely mentioned but ever present. I speak, of
course, of the minister’s wife. In normal circumstances the congregation usually sees her as an
adjunct to her husband’s ministry – but preachers’ wives provide elements not usually seen or
understood by those who have not been there themselves:
She Bears Burdens: All of us should bear each others’ burdens (Galatians 6:2) and the
preacher usually has a greater share because of his work. For this he receives his livelihood and
the appreciation of the brethren. Few people realize, however, that the preacher’s ability to carry
the burdens of others is proportional to the ministry he in turn receives from his wife who shares
all the burdens he carries…
She Suffers Quietly: When your life is public, your suffering is usually private. Preachers’
wives have long ago learned the virtue of “turning the other cheek” in order to stem the cycle of
gossip and division that so often invades the church.
In this world, the preacher usually gets the “credit” for church growth (which rightfully
belongs to the Lord) but in our hearts we know who deserves the crown.
