“The discretion of a man maketh him slow to anger; And it is his glory to pass over a
transgression,” (Prov. 19:11).
This verse pronounces God’s approval upon the person who overlooks offenses. And the
ability to do this is connected with the good discretion of being “slow to anger.” Obviously, the
man who angers quickly has more difficulty overlooking offenses against him. He is easily
offended, and he takes to heart every slight—real or imagined.
There is something commendable in not being easily offended. We might think of it is
having a “thick skin.” It has been my experience that conscientious people struggle with the
concept of having a thick skin, because they are more likely to care about what people think of
them. They do not like to hurt the feelings of other people, and so if someone says or does
something which seems to challenge or criticize them, they are prone to take it to heart. They tend
to take criticism seriously, and are quick to examine themselves—even if they have done nothing
wrong.
Some people are more easily hurt than others. They are kind, caring, sensitive people. They
are peacemakers, and they often take the brunt of problems upon themselves if possible, rather
than see others hurt. They would rather suffer the pain themselves because they have a heart of
compassion for others.
Yet, as compassionate people we have to be careful about taking every slight or personal
insult seriously. We have to be vigilant against being too easily offended. It is a glorious thing to
overlook a transgression against us.
This is not to be confused with the important art or practice of forgiveness, which ultimately
takes place in the mind of God. We can be ready to forgive, willing to forgive, refusing to take
personal offense, even when someone actually transgresses against us and then refuses to repent.
But our willingness to forgive and refusal to take offense does not mean that the offender is
automatically forgiven by God. God is still keeping track of things, even if we have trained
ourselves to personally let it go.
Perhaps the reason it is “glorious” to refuse to take offense is that it really amounts to giving
the matter over to God, knowing that He will handle it better than we. When someone transgresses
against us, and we overlook it, we are essentially trusting God to handle it. “Vengeance is mine,
saith the Lord, I will repay,” (Rom. 12:19). Why does vengeance belong to the Lord? Because
only He can do it fairly. When we yield to this reality, and refuse to take matters into our own
hands, we are deferring to and honoring God. And that is a glorious thing.
Has someone hurt your feelings? Maybe the glorious thing to do is overlook it, if possible.
After all, what is the reasonable alternative? I have known of Christians who felt it was their
responsibility to confront everyone around them about every single little hurt. Suffice it to say they
were most miserable in trying to keep up with such a system. The more people we come to know,
the more hurts we will experience. The more disappointments and transgressions will be inflicted
upon us. Are we going to keep a record of all of these wrongs? If we try to do that, we probably
won’t get anything else done.
Overlooking offenses means “letting go and letting God.” It means starting fresh and
leaving the sorrow behind, replacing it with joy. “This is the day which Jehovah hath made; We
will rejoice and be glad in it,” (Ps. 118:24). Sometimes the decision to overlook a matter is a sign
of strength, not weakness. Rather than a capitulation, it is a capitalization upon the power and
prerogatives of our God.
May we be mature Christians, who require a lot to get us agitated and riled up. May we
be slow to anger, ready to give others the benefit of the doubt, and ready to overlook personal
offenses, (Jas. 1:19). It will be to our glory if we can develop such a disposition. Doing so is yet
another way we can effectively honor God.
– by Robert C. Veil, Jr.
