by Jonathan Bennett
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to slip into the mindset of putting ourselves first in everything? Whether it is in our time, our money, or even our families, the world encourages us to “look out for #1.” Commercials tell us, “You deserve it.” Social media praises self-promotion. Even in casual conversations we hear, “Do what makes you happy.” While it may sound harmless, this “me first” mentality is completely opposite of the teaching of Jesus Christ. He never called His disciples to follow Him on their own terms, but instead required that they deny themselves (Luke 9:23). On another occasion, He said plainly that unless one hates his own life also, he cannot be His disciple (Luke 14:26). In other words, self cannot come first if we truly want to follow the Lord. This “me first” attitude was not only a problem in the days of Jesus but continues to hinder His church today. When we examine ourselves honestly, we may discover that we too have allowed “me first” thinking to creep into our lives in very subtle ways.
First, consider our attendance. The Scriptures show clearly that the early Christians assembled regularly to worship God and encourage one another (Acts 2:42; Acts 20:7; Heb.10:25). Yet today, many place personal interests before assembling with the saints. Some choose recreational outings, family gatherings, elective work or school activities, or simply staying home with the TV. Sporadic or haphazard attendance is one of the most obvious signs that self comes before the Lord.
Next, think about our contribution. Paul instructed Christians to give as they had been prospered (1 Cor. 16:1–2) and emphasized that God loves a cheerful giver (2 Cor. 9:7–9). But how often do we hold back because we want to spend more on ourselves? Some fail to budget their giving, while others become weighed down with payments for luxuries instead of necessities. Neglecting to give properly is another way that “me first” reveals itself.
Another area is our service to one another. God has given each member of the body talents and abilities meant to strengthen the whole church (Rom. 12:3–8; 1 Pet. 4:10–11). Sadly, some Christians come only to be served rather than to serve. They may never learn the names of fellow members, never discover their gifts, never participate in teaching or in the work of the congregation. A lack of involvement is another red flag that we are serving self rather than others.
The family is also affected by selfishness. God gave clear instructions for husbands, wives, children, and parents (Col. 3:18–21; Eph. 5:22,25,33). Yet when husbands and wives insist on their own way, when parents break their vows without regard for their children, and when children dishonor their parents, families suffer. Dysfunctional homes often grow out of a “me first” spirit.
So what is the answer? The Bible provides a far better way: the “others first” principle. Jesus is the perfect example. He left the riches of heaven to come to earth and give His life as a ransom for many (2 Cor. 8:9; Matt. 20:28). Paul wrote that Christians must adopt the same attitude, doing nothing from selfish ambition, but esteeming others better than themselves (Phil. 2:3–8).
The Macedonian Christians also exemplified this principle. In deep poverty, they gave
generously to help others (2 Cor. 8:1–4). They could do this because they first gave themselves to
the Lord (2 Cor. 8:5). By putting God and others ahead of self, they found that God supplied all
their needs (Phil. 4:19).
The lesson is plain: when we live by “me first,” discipleship suffers. But when we live by
“others first,” the church is strengthened, our families are blessed, and the Lord promises to take
care of us (Matt. 6:33).
Let each of us honestly ask: Am I living “me first” or “others first”?
